You don’t have to be in love to date someone

The word relationship seems to be losing it’s meaning by the minute. In age where casual sex is the norm, and be committed to one person is almost unheard of.

Several things contribute to this problem, but one major one( especially for teens/young adults) is the pressure to be labeled/ proclaim your love.

Because once your “in a relationship” on Facebook and calling each other “baby” on Facebook, you are repelling the extra messages to their private inbox. Right?

It’s a race to lock someone into commit and get committed because if not, they will be out with you on Friday and sleeping with someone else by Saturday.

I don’t understand girls (and I’ve seen guys do this too) rush right into declaring their “love” publicly on Facebook.

I would much rather hear “I love you” after three months of dating than three days. They haven’t seen you at your worst yet. You guys haven’t even had your first fight. You can’t be in love. Infatuation? Maybe. The thrill of something new? Definitely. But love? doubtful.

If someone tells you they love you after three days or even 3 weeks of dating. I would have questions. How on earth can someone know me that quickly? I’ve known myself for almost thirty years, and I’m still learning about myself. How on earth could someone else know me enough to love me in such a short time?

In three days, you know what they love? They love the part of you that you’ve revealed. Which in most cases are your best qualities. They haven’t got to see you red faced from the flu with puke in your hair to know for sure if they are still in this for the long haul.

AND THAT IS OKAY!

It is okay to date someone and not be in love with them. THAT IS WHAT DATING IS FOR.

Dating is to find out if you love a person, not falling in love with a person because you are dating them.

Don’t rob yourself of an important part of your dating experience. The part where you don’t live together yet, and you get to go home and feel butterflies as you wait until the next time you get to see them. The mystery of who’s house you’re going to stay at this weekend. The excitement of not knowing where things are going to go, but enjoying the moments as they go there.

A lot of you would have much better experiences, if you would remove the pressure of “I love you,” and say, “I love hanging out with you.”

Enjoy the beginning, and see where it goes.

The thing is you may find that you “love” that person, but it still doesn’t mean you are “in love” with them.

And that’s okay too!

Better to break up before you say “I love you” than to say it and decide later you don’t know if you meant it.

 

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